forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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