What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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