I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
two words: eviction party
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
