covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
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you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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