Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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