She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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