I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
