you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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