Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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