You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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