I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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