Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
