Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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