Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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