is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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