i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
