Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
