P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
