i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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