Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
