you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..