I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
