yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
