Porn is love you can see.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize