It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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