Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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