Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I AM VODKA MAN
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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