I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
