I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize