so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
