it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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