You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
