I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
