You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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