I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
