Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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