Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
from now on my penis is your penis
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize