Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize