Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
