I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come share oat with me in your robe
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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