Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Couch. On fire.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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