There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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