About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
