At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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