Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have already put on my inside pants.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
