So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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