'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
