should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
