Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
