I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
