why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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