gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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