he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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