omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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