the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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