I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Naked Twister starts at high noon
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omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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