Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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