just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
