You're a womanizer and a bitch.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize