haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i love accidental penises.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
