They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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