she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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