we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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