i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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